My Sorry
by AngelOfThursday67
Summary: Sam lived through way to many Tuesday's. There had to be consequences right? And through all that time was Gabriel just trying to say sorry?


**Hey guys! Sorry for the wait I have just been busy and haven't really felt up to writing anything lately. But here's something to tire over for a while before I can post some more stories.**

* * *

 _"_ _It was the heat of the moment telling me what are heart meant"_

Sam had been lulled into a dreamless sleep by the impala's loud engine. That engine meant home, the Men of Letters bunker had made a great home for two boys that had never had a roof and four walls. The bunker had secret dungeons and library's full of knowledge, weapons of all different kinds and hidden worlds. But the Impala would always feel like home.

Dean was driving, and watching as his brother feel into light sleep. He smiled, Sam hadn't slept in a while. He really needed rest- it was visible. The bruises under his eyes were only one of the telltale signs that the young man needed more rest.

Dean eyes the neat row of butterfly stitches closing the wound on his little brother's temple. The vamp hunt had been usually violent. The nest was large. When both boys were occupied fighting their way through one of the Vampires decided to hit Sam over the head with a piece of wood. Sam had crumpled to the ground immediately. Dean had seen red. He fought harder through the sea of monsters he needed to get to his brother's side.

Sam was already stirring by the time Dean made it to his side. He had groaned loudly scrunching his face up. Dean was relived to find that Sam hadn't sustained a concussion. Just a bloody gash on his temple that Dean had stitched up.

The Impala sped towards South Dakota, where Bobby was waiting for them. A bed waiting for both boys. Dean was happy that he could always counted on the old hunter.

The trees sped past the windows of the old car. Dean sighed it was going to be a long drive and he wanted Sam awake. Teasing his brother would be fun right now. But a quick glance over to the man leaning against the window drawing in deep even breaths he changed his mind. He decided he would settle on putting the radio on quietly.

Pressing the button, he was happy when Asia came through the speakers. He sang along happily to Heat of the moment. Blind to his brothers suddenly distressed sleep.

* * *

The dreamed changed suddenly and Sam felt his heart speed up when Asia blared through the clock radio. Sitting up quickly he turned to see Dean tying his boots.

"Rise and Shine Sammy" he sang happily bouncing in beat to the song.

Sam's breath came in short sharp pants. Dean got up to the go to the bathroom still bobbing in time with the music. Black spots were starting to appear in his vision.

"no, no, no" he whispered under his breath "Not again" he couldn't go through this again.

He could still imagine each and every Tuesday ending with Dean's bright green eyes glazed over and staring right through him. The alternate time line felt so real, even when Dean had died on the Wednesday he spent 6 months trying to find a way to bring him back…it had just felt so real.

Gabriel had been amused by the whole scenario. But Sam resented the archangel. He tried to act calm around the angel but it was so hard when he could still see Dean dying. Gabriel enjoyed playing tricks on the Winchester brothers. But Sam couldn't forget what Gabriel had done.

Desperately trying to find a way to calm down he tried his tactic that worked while he was stuck in mystery spot.

 _One shot in Mystery spot_

 _Two run over_

 _Three crushed by falling desk_

 _Four choking_

 _Five slipped in the shower_

 _Six poisoned by taco_

 _Seven electrocuted_

 _Eight axe by himself_

 _Nine shot by arrow_

 _Ten killed by dog_

 _Eleven decapitation_

 _Twelve cracked skull_

 _Thirteen stabbed_

 _Fourteen tripped_

 _Fifteen smoke inhalation_

 _Sixteen fire_

 _Seventeen drowned_

 _Eighteen cursed_

 _Nineteen overdose_

 _Twenty blood poisoning_

And he counted…and counted all the way to 300.

Just when his breathing was calming down there was a crash in the bathroom followed by a yell. And Sam bolted up…to find the inside of the impala?

* * *

Dean yelped and yanked the steering wheel while the car swerved suddenly when Sam jack knifed up gasping and yelling. He quickly pulled over to the side of the road and twisted in his seat to grab Sam's biceps

"Sam!, Sammy!" He yelled trying to gain attention in his younger siblings unfocused eyes.

Sam had stopped struggling but what breathing heavily and leaning into Dean's arms. Eventually he got his bearings together and pushed away from Dean.

"Sorry" he mumbled under his breath embarrassed by his dramatic awakening.

"What the hell was that all about" Dean said to him. His face mixed with anger and fear, Sam turned slowly to him as he raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, nothing. Don't worry" Sam tried knowing it wouldn't work but desperately hoping that Dean would drop the topic and they couldn't continue heading to Bobby's house.

"SAM" Dean's voice deepened as he yelled at his little brother. "that wasn't nothing, what the hell was that?" His tone was demanding and Sam knew that he wouldn't drop this.

"Just mystery spot" he mumbled under his breath.

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Really, Com on Sam, it wasn't that bad, I mean a time loop of Tuesday's Tuesdays. Stop exaggerating"

Sam turned swiftly in his seat. His eyes burning with anger. He couldn't believe his brother would say that. Yes, that hasn't been on the best terms lately but he couldn't believe that Dean would take it that far. He really didn't believe that Sam had lived through over 100 Tuesdays, he thought he was being dramatic and making it up to gain attention and pity.

Sam kept his emotions hidden far down out of reach. It was part of the job, showing weakness was a bad idea and it was dangerous, even around his brother Sam learned to lie. "I'm fine, It's nothing" was in everyday vocabulary.

Sam didn't talk to his brother about the nightmare that occurred often. Or the pit in his stomach every time Tuesday rolled around. The underlying fear that it would still be Tuesday the next day. Every time Dean says 'rise and shine Sammy' he's flinching away and desperately trying to rid his head of dead green eyes.

He avoids restaurants that serve pig n' a poke. He gets jittery around tacos. He can't take hot sauce with his breakfast, he can't listen to Groundhog Day. He doesn't speak of any it to Dean. He won't tell Dean about the hundreds of ways he died. Or the six months he spent without him trying to find a way to get him back. He won't tell Dean about killing (fake) Bobby. Or his chat to Gabriel.

and he can never ever tell Dean about the time on the 274th Tuesday, that he woke up, looked at his brother with dead eyes. And shot himself in the head.

So, when Dean to his to stop exaggerating he lost it.

"Stop exaggerating!" he yells and he is pretty sure he sounds hysteric "you have no idea what I went though, I watched you die over and over again Dean, I lost count of all the Tuesdays I went though. So, don't you ever say that. not to mention when Gabriel finally stopped and it was Wednesday he killed you again, I spent 6 months trying to find a way to bring you back." By the end of his outburst he was breathing heavily.

Dean sat star struck on the other side of the car. "Sammy…I'm so sorry" his voice broke and he lunged at Sam bringing him into a tight embrace. "you have no idea how sorry I am, I didn't know"

Sam didn't reply, but he melted into his brothers embrace. And breathed in the scent of Dean.

* * *

When Heat of the moment plays through the Impala's radio a second-time Sam freezes his muscles tighten. He quickly moves to stop the radio but Dean stops his hand.

"Just listen Sam, just listen" he whispers.

Sam tries not to think about Green eyes staring into nothing but just for the first time listen to the lyrics of the dreaded song.

 _"_ _I never meant to be so bad to you, one thing I said that I would never do. A look from you and I would fall from grace"_

And Sam finally realizes. Through all the hundreds of Tuesdays he never really did listen to the lyrics of the song. He didn't think about why Gabriel chose this song. Because now that he listens to the lyrics and that he doesn't think about the lifeless body. That he can feel the presence of Dean next to him, and knows that for now that Dean if safe, he knows through the song Gabriel was trying to say sorry. And for that he forgives him.


End file.
